Saturday, March 7, 2009

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

I had to have harsh words with Lisa today. As you know she holds down a variety of part-time jobs, like tax preparer, substitute teacher, and taste tester for a major food company. Well it was the latter that was frustrating her and she was complaining to me about the upcoming schedule. Well, for men everywhere I quietly stood up and began my speech.

"I love you, and respect your efforts in life, but don't you sit there and start moaning about your lot, complaining to those around you, you just need to Shut the HELL UP; because you are living the dream of every red blooded American male - My God woman, You Are Getting Paid To Eat BACON!!!!!!!!"I mean seriously, she goes in for 30 minutes, gets all the bacon she can eat, AND they pay her $20? I know men who would kill for that job. Speaking of bacon:
Maple Bacon Lollipops
Bacon Scarf
Diet Coke with Bacon
Bacon Flavor Floss
Bacon Dispensers - available in restrooms worldwide
And everyone's favorite Bacon - KEVIN

7 comments:

Heather said...

You be nice to her! We are allowed to complain about stuff even if it IS unreasonable just because we are women!Did you have fun sleeping on the couch?

TStevens said...

No way - she repented of her evil ways.

Kris said...

Hope the dog house was big enough for the dog AND you.

Renee Anderson said...

Ok ...Jeff and I are still laughing our heads off!

TStevens said...

Iwas not in trouble because I was right. What woman have a hard time comprehending is puzzling to men worldwide - We are talking about:

BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

meredith said...

LOL. David, I thought all guys talked about was sex. Next time anyone whines about how little they're getting, we'll tell them you can go buy your own bacon

By Me said...

Gosh - $20 to test eat bacon - where do I sign up - money is money - I won't complain - where is that sign up sheet???

Ann