Like all nine year olds, Zeke experiences itching in interesting places sometimes. Being a very inquisitive boy, and because I got him a wonderful little book last year, Oh Yuck! The Encyclopedia of Everything Nasty, he began researching his ailment.
Today at lunch he proudly announced he had made a successful diagnosis; and then showed us the entry on body lice also known as crabs. Yes, that crabs.
Try again grasshopper.
BTW - It is an awesome little book for any of your 8-12 year olds.