I have been on the facebook (I like saying “the face book”) pretty heavy the last few weeks, getting caught up in the excitement of seeing people I haven’t seen in 20 years. I am especially amazed at how many old people I went to high school with. While it has been nice to see the great successes in others lives, either professionally or personally, I have also caught up on some of the tragedies. I have learned that the cute little 12 year old girl who lived next door to me had such a hard time that in the end she took her own life. Since I wasn’t there for the bad times, to me she is still the happy 7th grader and it is hard to bridge that gap in my mind. Just this week a very good friend of mine let it be known that he is getting divorced, and another person shared with me that my pictures of some happy couple 20 years ago are now broken apart.
Now I don’t know the stories about these particular people and wouldn’t pretend to guess, but it has got me thinking about some stuff I have read or experienced. About half of those in love couples you see get married will get divorced. Now sometimes they probably should, but occasionally it is an accumulation of a lot of little steps in the wrong direction. What gets me the most, and again I am speaking generally (and absolutely not about anyone specifically), is when I here someone say we are married in the Temple (i.e. an official Mormon wedding) so we have a better marriage. I know quite a lot of people who not only believe this, but have said it out loud. While a temple wedding statistically speaking has better odds of surviving, it is no guarantee of success, or that it will be a happy one at that. Too often people use that ceremony as an excuse to get lazy and not do all the work to keep a marriage up. It is hard work to have a successful marriage,and there if you believe for one second that your temple certificate has given you a free pass you are probably in for a very tragic surprise one day. Any two people can be happily married, just some require a hell of lot more work than others.
What am I trying to say? I don’t know except if you were to talk to most divorced people I feel they would tell you how hard it was on them. You should marry well to begin with and do not ever assume for one minute that you will always be as happy as the wedding day; be working every minute to shore up the weak parts. Because up until the second the I35 Bridge collapsed, everybody assumed it was secure, safe, and would last forever.