No “Just Friends” – Book #71

-------------+----------------------------------------
Title Not “Just Friends”; Protect Your
Relationship from Infidelity and Heal
the Trauma of Betrayal
-------------+----------------------------------------
Author Shirley P. Glass Ph.D.
-------------+----------------------------------------
Genre Nonfiction
-------------+----------------------------------------
Pages 382
-------------+----------------------------------------
Publisher The Free Press
-------------+----------------------------------------
Copyright 2003
-------------+----------------------------------------



Synopsis (from web-site)

NOT "Just Friends" is the long-awaited, groundbreaking new book by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., whom the New York Times has called the "godmother of infidelity research." Full of astonishing revelations, NOT "Just Friends" draws on more than two decades of original studies and hundreds of clinical cases to document the new crises of infidelity. NOT "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal (The Free Press; January 13th, 2003; $25.00) reveals that, in this crisis, today's workplace is the foremost breeding ground for extramarital affairs. Good people in good marriages-men and women who say they're happily married-are unwittingly crossing the line between platonic friendship and romantic love. We are right to be wary when we hear our partners assert, "I'm telling you, we're just friends."


Why I read It
On a blog I was reading someone highlighted some passages of the book and it sounded interesting. Now remember I originally went to school to become a therapist and thus my interesting probably varies quite a bit from yours. So I emailed the writer and he sent me the reference. Luckily my local library system had a copy.

The Good
A very experienced marriage therapist, whose specialty is infidelity, shares what she has learned over the years with numerous case studies and examples.

The Bad
Can be a little dry if you are not interested in the topic and/or not in a relationship of any sort.

The Ugly (my opinion)
This book was brilliant. Full of fun facts and numerous examples, you cannot help but find ways to not only protect your marriage, but improve it. Straight off the bat she dismisses the common myth that a loving partner and a good marriage will prevent affairs. I think a lot of people rely on that to protect them. Just as she also states that there are no low maintenance relationships. I like what one man said about personal (affair) deterrents. “On a good day, when things are going well, I am committed to my wife. On a day when things are just okay, I am committed to my marriage. And on a day when things aren’t so great, I satisfy myself by being committed to my commitment. This book is suited for anyone who wants to improve their marriage. And if you do not think your marriage needs improvement, or is invincible towards an affair; then you are at the most risk for an affair within your
relationship.

The Truth? (other reviews)
Powell's Books
Publisher's Weekly

Interesting Trivia
Dr. Glass is the mother of Ira Glass of NPR’s This American Life. The book opens with a quote from her son, “You know you’re in trouble when the word ‘just’ appears before the word ‘friends’.”

Mormon Mentions
None

Author Biography

Although Not “Just Friends” is the first book by Dr. Shirley Glass, she is considered one of the world's leading experts on infidelity. The New York Times has referred to her as "the godmother of infidelity research." She has written clinical chapters about treating infidelity and empirical research articles in professional journals about sex differences in marital and extramarital relationships. She has also presented countless seminars on preventing and treating the trauma of infidelity at national conferences for therapists, counselors, and marriage educators. NOT "Just Friends" draws on more than two decades of original research and hundreds of clinical cases to chronicle the human story of what occurs, before, during, and after the trauma of betrayal. Dr. Glass is also preparing an academic book, The Trauma of Infidelity: Research and Treatment.