Friday, August 31, 2007

Chewing for Gold

Some I am sitting in church chomping away on my gum when my crown pops off. Luckily I didn’t swallow it, because given how cheap Lisa is, I would have had to retrieve it. I could only imagine how fun that would have been. And I would always have had the thought in the back of my mind – Your tooth is covered in POOP!

Anyways, I didn’t swallow it and was able to get the Dentist to glue it back in on Monday. For him to look at it, scrape off the old glue, and then toss it back in was 75 DOLLARS!! That is a total racket.

But I am reminded of a story from my rec. therapist days at the juvenile jail. In the morning one young man complained to another that he needed to get out of his face as his breath smelled like “fecal material.” (Note: the word has been changed for your protection) Well a little later the young man with the breath problem retires to the joint bathroom. The after lunch the first young man goes to brush his teeth and comes out in the commons area to complain that something is wrong with his tooth brush. This is the moment when the second kid states aloud that he had stuck his tooth brush up his butt, and whose breath smelled like fecal material now.

Good times.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Great Quotes

A coworker talking about her husband says,

"It wasn't his dream to be a HS physics teacher, he really wanted to be a HS Earth Sciences teacher."

Signs that I am getting old

Between the five kids, Lisa and I have one starting at every school next week. The oldest begins HIGH SCHOOL, the next will be in 6th grade, the next two in Elementary (3rd & 2nd), and the youngest in Kindergarten. The youngest will have the same teacher the other three boys had.

Great Truths of Life 1

This Blog will hopefully replace the old newsletter, so I thought I would start off with some of my acquired wisdom.

You go to put on a shirt and you realize it is slightly wrinkled; enough to be noticeable, but not enough to get out the iron. The solution is to toss it into the dryer for a few minutes to freshen it up, but when you get there you find it is full with other clothes. No problem, just toss it in and let it go, because that is easier than finding a basket for the other load. Here is the truth:

No matter how long you leave the dryer running your shirt will never be on the top/front of the load when you open the door.