Commitment

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I find it really easy to quit most exercise endeavors. All I need is the flimsiest of excuses and I am right back where I started. Well maybe a little worse of because I am now older.

My goal for this week is to get out for at least 10 miles a day which takes me approximately 2.5 hours to do. I am mainly walking (about 90% of it) and do not officially time anything. I just want to get time on my feet so when the day comes that I can start moving a little faster I will be ready.

Last night everyone had something going on except JT, who is too young to stay at home by himself. So we waited around doing this and that for the first reasonably old enough person to turn up. Well that turned out to be Lisa at 9:15 pm; and did I mention it was raining again (but no lightning)? And my headlamp was missing? I was so tempted to just call it a day and go to bed. Missing one day wouldn’t hurt would it?

But that is how it starts, and only on the third day. So I got up and out door and began a repeat of yesterday’s trek since it was 10 miles exactly. I must say the library reflecting off the Mill pond at night is quite a pretty sight. I just wish I had a nicer camera to capture it. The only excitement was a text from Gunnar a little before 11pm.

Gunnar: Are you home?
Me: No, out walking
G: I left for J’s and locked the door*, do I need to come back?
*(this means I am locked out and everyone else is asleep)
Me: No. It’s on my route. I will pick up the key in an hour.

I now had visions of me banging on J’s door at almost midnight to get the key. This is funny because I am a regular worker ant in a rather large Fortune500 company and J’s dad is the CEO*. That would have been good. But I had the good sense to text Gunnar when I was close and the whole transaction was handled silently. Of course I told Lisa otherwise and she was quite horrified – got to enjoy myself somehow.

*I often joke that if I count all the soda that he has provided to my son over the years as part of my compensation package, I am probably one of the highest paid employee’s in the company.

How far away is it?

I set off for my nightly walk using my cities trail system. My initial plan was to make it out the Nature Center to touch the big rock and back for about 11 miles total. Unfortunately the day had been overcast and about a mile out the rain started; then lightning in the distance. Now I am all for walking in the rain, mainly due to an old Bob Kennedy Nike ad in which he stated "Somewhere there's a sunny warm place where all the second place guys train". The problem with going to the Nature Center is you are exposed out in the country (fields) for over half the trip.

So I got off the trail at the Mill pond and began traipsing across the city, picking up bits and pieces of other running routes. The rain got very heavy for a while but the lightning seemed to stay off in the distance. I kept telling myself the old canard that 3 seconds between flash and thunder meant it was 3 miles away. At the beginning it was at 3 seconds but eventually made it to 16 seconds, so definitely moving away. I have since looked it up on Wikipedia and have learned it is actually closer to 1 KM for every 3 seconds. In hindsight that feels more accurate, especially in the beginning.

Early on before the weather a young girl from the office booked past me on the trail and disappeared around the bend. But then the lightning struck and she was immediately coming back down the trail and heading home. To bad for her because not a mile down the trail I found these babies right there on the side of the trail.

I think that makes me a professional walker, just with incredibly low wages.

In the end I got in 10 miles total, at least according to Google Maps. A little shorter than I wanted but a good result all the same. My goal is 75 miles for the week.

Where I'm At

It always seems like tomorrow is a good day to get back into shape, but as the saying goes tomorrow never comes. So after a few years of starts and stops I finally reached a decision point. If I want to do these ultra’s I actually have to train for them. And if I want to train for them I actually need to get away from the TV and go outside.

Well the stumbling block for me has always been weight, which has been hovering around 260 pounds (but I am 6’4” so it isn’t as bad as it sounds). My exercise of choice has always been running but the extra weight causes a lot of stress on my lower legs which leads to injury. SO I would get started on a “new” exercise program only to stop again. After a not so good visit from my Doctor (Hypertension and the usual extremely bad lipid levels) and a weekend with my family of origin (for all my problems I am in the best shape – i.e. my medical future doesn’t look good unless I actively try to change course) I realized that tomorrow has finally arrived. As hard as it is today, tomorrow will only be harder.

So I have learned even though I may not be able to run at the moment, at least not more than a quarter mile at a time, I can surely walk. So with that in mind I have been walk/jogging over 50 miles a week for the last 5 weeks (90% walking) and I have been noticing some changes. First of all I am doing some long walks of 10-12 miles and my weight has been coming down. For the year I am down 20 pounds (at 242) which means I am only overweight now instead of obese (247 is the BMI obese weight for my height). Another 20 and I should be able to start running a bit more consistently.

But I am a goal orientated person and I think I have a pretty good one to keep me going. In August I turn 42 years old and just down the road we have an excellent trail that is 42 miles long. So tentatively on Saturday August 13th I am going to walk my years in miles on the Root River Trail (Houston to Fountain). It is a doable goal and on the positive side it will get that first ultra mystery out of the way. A lot of hesitation of doing a 100 miler is facing the great unknown of going beyond the marathon. Especially traveling a fair distance and paying money for an event you don’t even know you are capable of. I think doing this 42 miler will go a long way to alleviating a lot of my fears.

Plus it will pave the way for my first real ultra which will be a 24 hour race. That is where you do a loop course for 24 hours; and you can go as fast or slow as you want with all the breaks you want. I think then I will be ready for a 100 mile trail race next year sometime.

Anyways, if any of you will be in the area and would want to walk a few miles let me know. I can use all the company I can get (but I am not sure if any of you are as crazy as I am). I plan to walk the first 30 or so miles exclusively and then see how I feel for some jogging at the end. That could very well mean all walking.

Also I think I will start posting more about my walking here as a means to keep myself motivated. Maybe not as interesting but better than nothing, maybe?

Conversations with JT

ON the way to get a haircut for JT and Qatar we have the following conversation.

Qatar: Next year when Gunnar is gone (college) I will get to move downstairs to his room.

Me: We might get a foreign Exchange Student.

Qatar: (Excitedly) A Girl

Me: Why would that matter?

(Now you have to imagine this in the Style of Tom Haverford, because I swear to God that that character is based on JT)

JT: It has to be a HOT girl (wait three beats) so we can all enjoy her.

Misheard Lyric

I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore by REO SPeedwagon

Actual Lyric:

"A candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night"

What I always though it was:

"A candle in the window and a corndogger in the night"

I always thought "corndogger" was insider band slang for doin it. I still say my way is better.

Zero to 100 in 250 days

Phase one of training for the 100 is done.

I have stop eating grains (make me quite sick quickly) and the refined sugars (makes me sick in the long term – triglycerides). I made it through the entire Halloween season without any candy, even with my kids dragging home 5 pounds a piece.

Then I got myself off the carbonated drinks and caffeine. It really screws up my sleep schedule and I start drinking more than healthy. I quickly work up to 2 litres a day. Some people can manage a little and be fine, but I am not that guy. On the plus side when I am at mile 60 at 2am in the morning, that first Mountain Dew in 8 months is going to kick me awake pretty strongly.

Phase 2 is jogging with a little consistency. This first month will about 30 miles per week. I am just getting my legs used to running everyday, the increased milage will come later. I still need to add milage on my bike and some basic calesthenics and weght exercises. My exercises are goblet squats, single leg deads, push-ups, pull-ups, and some core work. Shoulder pain over time is a weakness of mine while running, hence the bodyweight pulls and pushes.

I Actually Never Knew This

What was the number one song the day you were born?



Honky Tonk Woman - The Rolling Stones

Go here to find out yours and leave it in the comments.

The quiet red sky in the morning

After getting the exercise disks I see it is based on a 7 day schedule with the last day being stretching (i.e. an easier day). So after talking with Lisa I decided to make Saturday the easy day so I would be free to work on the house or other family activities. That would mean a Sunday start for the big P180X experiment, and it also meant I had 5 days to “get ready”, what ever that means. So over those five days I took steps to get my diet in line, because the sad truth is no matter how hard you “bring it” you cannot out exercise a bad diet. That is especially true as you get older. Heck my ability to out metabolize my diet ended at 22 years old thanks to some stellar genetics.

The other thing I did was work through the stretch video three times as I figured it couldn’t hurt and just might help. I could handle just about all of it except for the plow as it cut my breathing off. It will be interesting to see as I progress how that improves. Anyways I really like the structure of the DVD with the countdown clocks, and the slight banter between the participants. I am sure I will have it memorized before I am done. But Tony, Pam the blam, Shauna the super freak, and the seething Phil go from head to toe over the course of an hour. Actually I don’t know if Phil is seething but I was amused to find a lot of online speculation about his hidden anger, mostly due to his stone face expression.

I also took a before photo but that isn’t coming up unless I get a decent after to go with it. The beginning numbers are 256#’s and 35.1% fat, but that is spread out over 76 inches so it isn’t too bad, he said wishfully. The only nagging injury I have is some slight ITBS on the right side, but that requires some pretty unique positioning to aggravate.

Glass Houses and Such

The sad part of procrastination is that one day the piper must be paid. I had this discussion with my son just the other day about getting into and paying for college. You can have all the fun you want in high school but all it ends up doing is increase the cost of the next phase of life. For him that meant he had reached the 100% point of putting his paycheck towards college. If he continues to waste time that would mean he will need to forgo his freshman year and work fulltime. I am alright either way but I wasn’t sure he was. I guess time will tell.

But this post isn’t about him, or his choices, that is his story to tell. I have procrastinated my health so long now that I crossed over the 100% line. Not taking care of your health as a young(er) person just means you will be less energetic, tired, and overweight; but definitely not anything dangerous. But I am forty now, the dangers for me are legitimately scary. I am easily old enough for a heart attack or a stroke. I am hitting most of the risk factors pretty solidly.

So I was sitting in a hotel the other day getting used to live television and I ended up watching infomercials, specifically Tony Horton and the P90X system. I am always doubtful of infomercials, especially when it comes to my health; but this looked pretty straightforward. Plus I have a few friends who have successfully used the system, so I know it can be helpful. After a little online research I was pretty sure it could help for three reasons. First I already had the equipment I need to do the program at home. Second it seemed to integrate a lot of bases; strength, fitness, and flexibility. Third, and probably most important to me, it is highly structured and visual.

I also realize the results shown on the commercial are not really within my reach at this time given the amount of weight I want to lose, but I have seen enough evidence to feel confident that two rounds would be pretty dramatic, so a P180X so to speak. My goal for this first round of 90 days will be to lose 30-35 pounds, be able to keep pace with the videos (more on that later), and generally to be ready to get super intense for round two. I realize some might feel I should be “intense” from the get go, but trust me at 50 pounds overweight and generally not exercising (besides the bike) for the last two year I am more concerned about not injuring myself until the rust falls off.

You can call me Hay Bale

The Set Up:

JT has been JT his whole life (Jay Tee) though his actual name is Joseph Talmage.

The Pay Off:

I was reading with Cenny the other day, or rather Cenny was reading aloud to me when the character in the book said: "My name is Alexander, but you can call me Al."

Except Cenny didn't say Al (rhymes with Pal), she said AL (rhymes with Hay Bale).

This make me happy, and I might have to call Cenny Hay Bale from now on. It's a pretty good nickname.**

**yes, I am proud of the correct usage of It's versus Its

The Scars of Youth

I noticed today one of my interactions has been permanently inf; influenced by my Mom. A scar so to speak that has changed me. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying this in a negative way, more just a neutral observation.

Whenever I hear Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd the first thought to enter my mind is my Mom ranting about how terrible this song is and how irresponsible the band is because they use BAD GRAMMAR!!

"It is clear that these kids really do need education. 'Don't need no'; I mean, really!"

And on and on she would go for the whole song. Through some Pavlovian training I cannot enjoy this song at the highest level because my interaction has been damaged. I cannot hear it without also hearing my Mom too.

Not necessarily a bad thing, just part of the weird mixture that is me.

What scars are you toting around? And are any of them indirectly affecting your more meaningful interactions?

About Last Night, or Not Really A Bucket List

As I said in a previous post I am not really thinking in terms of a bucket list, but I do admit that I need to make changes to my general health if I want to have a long life. I was actually thinking in terms of just making changes to my outlook on life, or rather, the way I interact with it. I had my first opportunity last night to implement these changes.

So several months ago I read a book called Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert (but for some reason I cannot find my post on it). In it Gilbert posits that we as human beings are absolute crap at predicting what will make us happy. We set these very narrow standards at what will make us happy and when we vary off that target we predict we will be unhappy. This sets us up for a lot of self fulfilling prophecy of sadness in which we end up missing opportunities for joyful moments. Please watch the video below where Gilbert discusses various extreme events (paralysis and winning the lottery) and which makes people happier).

Anyways an example from my own life is pears. My exposure to pears growing up was limited to fruit cocktail in the can. We had that for dessert about 3 times a month growing up and I absolutely detested the pears (favorites in order are cherries, grapes, pineapples, and peaches) in so much that I would pick them out. Now that was no easy task given their small size and very similar color to the pineapples. I hated the pears so much that I went 35 years purposely avoiding them because I DO NOT LIKE PEARS. It was part of my identity.

Then one day I saw some Anjou pears for sale in the grocery store. They looked so good I bought a few pounds for the kids, but then they tempted me. I tried one to confirm that my core being hadn’t changed; I hate pears. But major paradigm shift later and now I am the guy who checks the fruit section of store EVERY TIME I go shopping to see if they have any Anjou pears in stock. What is the point of this story? Well I wasted 35 years of my life based on the prediction that eating pears would be an unpleasant experience and thus make me happy. Or conversely I believed that avoiding pears would make me happy and I was wrong.

Here is another shorter example for you to mull over. More often than not are truly great moments of real happiness come from unpredicted, unplanned events. Assuming you are in a happy relationship, think back to how you met your significant other – planned or random? It was completely random set of events that led me to Lisa (and vice-versa) and that has led to twenty years so far of the happiest moments of my life.

So what does that mean for you and me? We need to spend a lot less time setting up all these arbitrary standards for us to be happy, and more time finding happiness in all the moments we get. Stuck in traffic – don’t worry, be happy. I was stuck in traffic on I35 driving to the Twin Cities a while back. It was very frustrating to have all the construction slowing us down. Now while I turned off to go to the St. Paul side, I have to wonder how many people who where stuck along side me avoided the bridge collapse that happened just a few miles up the road from where we were that same afternoon? If my clueless school counselor hadn’t have passed the buck on writing my recommendation to the one teacher I had had verbal altercations with (and even filed a complaint about), maybe I would have made it into the Coast Guard Academy and then I would have never met Lisa. (of course I had never been on a boat either I have since learned I get violently sea sick). I was angry at the time but what a blessing that has turned out to be. Ms Mayers where ever you might be – I owe a lot of my happiness to your crap teaching, man hating, personality disorder – who knew?

So long story longer, what did I do? Two things I believed would never lead to happiness, first is a choir concert, and second is a long bus ride with people I don’t know. These are things I have been avoiding since forever and I totally could have avoided again. But as I told Lisa I wanted to go just to see if I could give up my narrow views and to see if happiness could be found in any moment. So last night Lisa and I rode the parents coach up to Minneapolis to see Gunnar and the AHS choir participate in a 6 choir show. You know what, I had a good time. It was fun, the performances were great, the venue was beautiful, and we had a great conversation with our neighbors on the way up, and met another parent at the show. Plus our son was very happy for us to be there.

What are you avoiding? Reframe it; What moments of great happiness are you missing out on because you are too busy being unhappy?

It has been a long time

Between the pneumonia, the week I spent in bed, and making up that week at work; I have been busy. Isn’t it always the case that it is exponential for making up work that you have missed? That is it takes two days to make up one missed day. So a week off was a killer to catch up. Plus it wasn’t like I was well when I got back to the office; I was just able to sit up for an 8 hour day.

Then last week I had a four day short course at the University of Minnesota; An Introduction to Food Science. That was more work missed, but at least this time I knew it was coming. By the way that course was really a misnomer. I went to school to become a therapist (double major in Psychology and Family Science) and then went on and got a masters in Organizational Management (yes, I am a degreed MOM). This job working with food was one I took at the time to make money after spending so much time in school (I was on the 9 year bachelor’s program). Well that was fifteen years ago and besides Food Allergies, my actual detailed food knowledge is severely lacking.

So I signed up for this course thinking it might give me the basics to get started. Instead it was more like “So you really know your Chemistry, so let us talk about the specialty of FOOD Chemistry.” I really liked how to make it “easier” the teacher would draw chemical compound diagrams on the board. It wasn’t a total loss because I learned quite a few superficial things, even a couple of really neat things, but ultimately I did get one truly important lesson.

I learned how much I didn’t know, especially since I work in R&D. As a 40 year old with 14 years into a 30 year career I realized I am not just doing this job to earn money before my “real” job. This is my life right now, this is my real job and I shouldn’t really be wasting anymore time. To that end I have decided to take advantage of my local community college and all the online courses now available and learn Chemistry and Food Science.

I am reminded of a brilliant woman from my mission, Sister Pass of Runcorn England. She earned her college degree in Art when she was 90 years old. She was interviewed on National TV at the time and the presenter asked her “Why get a degree at 90?” Her reply has always stuck with me. She said she figure she could have a degree at 90 or not, so either way she would still be 90. Why not have the degree.

So in ten years I will be 50, still stumbling along blindly in my career waiting for my life to begin or I can actually start living it today and get something done. As my secretary used to have as her screen saver, “Life is what happens while you make other plans.”

Maybe it is my midlife crisis, but I really want to start making changes to my life. Get ‘er done before I miss it. I do have a few nagging goals and desires that I will post later, but unlike Lisa I don’t think that will include skydiving.

A BYU Story

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman!”

I saw a link to a new website the other day called Passive Aggressive Notes.

What led me here was a post featuring a note written at my alma mater BYU, the bastion of overly self righteous Mormons everywhere. Anyways the note was left on the windshield of a young woman who had parked outside her then boyfriend/now husband’s apartment building, the infamous King Henry Apartments. It is now framed and hangs in their house. Here is the text in full:

Hi – You don’t know me but I’ve noticed that you go into #306 apt. late @ night & I sometimes see you coming out in the morning & it’s obvious that you sleep over there b/c your car is parked @ King Henry all night. I know that it’s really none of my business, but my roommates & I think that it is inappropriate to be staying @ a boy’s house all night. I feel like I should talk to someone about this problem, perhaps King Henry, but I think that you could & should fix this problem on your own w/out my intervention.

Thanks for your time

-Have a great day :-)

I just love the “it’s none of my business” line but then they proceed to make it all of their business. The underlying message is they have completely assessed the situation and have judged you to be a filthy sinner, and that is okay because as a stone thrower they are completely without sin. The obnoxious smiley face at the end is just perfect. Bloody hell, isn’t there always one of these people (the note writer) in every ward in the church.

Anyways this completely accurate depiction of all that was annoying about BYU reminded me of my own experience with single housing. I dropped out of college as a senior and moved to Minnesota; I like to say it was to “find” myself. After working for a couple of years with Juvenile delinquents I did manage to find something out, mainly that I was an idiot for dropping out. Anyways, my wife was working, we had two kids, a car payment, and a mortgage (our first house was only $27,000 – those were the days), but at the same time it was not possible to transfer to a local college. So luckily my Mom moved in to look after the kids while I went back to BYU solo. My wife garnered a lot of “who are the fancy people with the live-in English Nanny” around town because what little accent I have is completely non-existent unless I am living there; so it wasn’t obvious that she is my Mom.

I moved into single housing just of campus and paid the whole semester’s rent upfront. Now I went with single housing because it was under $200 a month as opposed to $1000 plus for married. While going over the contract it come out I was actually married and not single. Well this caused quite a stir and the manager went into the office to make a phone call to the owner, and after a lengthy conversation it was decided I could live in the apartment complex only if I signed a special contract that explicitly stated I would not have sex with my wife. I thought to myself “I don’t know what rumors you have heard, but it isn’t that impressive that it could reach to Minnesota”, but kept it to myself and quietly signed the papers.

It has become one of those great life experiences that sounds to outlandish to be true, but is really funny to share. You have to remember the culture at BYU, sex outside of marriage will totally get you expelled, so while I am not saying it didn’t go on just like other universities, unlike them it is kept very deeply buried in the closet; hidden away as much as possible. The best part of the whole experience though is this is the apartment I shared with the Mo-famous actor Lincoln Hoppe AND I get to tell people even though we have been together about 20 years we did separate for a while.

And now we are fifteen years on from that experience I can freely admit that when I went back to Minnesota for my one visit, Lisa and I totally did it, like several times.

A little bit behind

So I got a cold.

A regular everyday sinus cold.

But just when I was getting over it I came home for lunch.

Within the next 30 minutes I became very, very sick.

By the time I got to the ER that night I had a temperature of 105°F, which is very hot for an adult.

Uncontrollable shaking.

I have been sick for almost three weeks, but now I feel better.

The residual cold sores are almost gone - I had three.

But now I am behind at work; a vicious cycle.

Anyways I have read over a dozen books so far this year and I will slowly catch up on that.

And maybe blog a little too.

Thank you for your patience, all two of you :-)

For Those of You Who Went

My High School closed down in 2007, one of the few dormitory schools supported by the Department of Defense. Here is the Mrs. DeYoung's speech from the closing ceremony. I had her for math and she was infamous for covering her entire chalkboards each AND every day with small, exact printed notes. It was so good I took the class twice :-)

Before & After

So I had a really bad blood test two weeks ago so I am totally back on the wagon with my diet. I have learned overtime it is easier for me to have nothing than to attempt to just have a little. So far I am down 10 pounds but I still have 40 to go. It should look something like this.**

Before

After

**I do have the full body in the spandex-y action underwear shot, but I will save that for when I have a really good after to go with it.

What Would Tommy Monson Do?

I had what we in the RM business call a golden opportunity, but I let it pass unanswered.

The Set-up. I was at the Doctor's for my annual check up and was being registered by the new medical assistant. She was an extremely bubbly 50 something who talked excitedly the whole time she took my vitals. Then she began typing in ny history including my living arrangements.

I said I was married and lived in my own home. She began typing lives with wife but accidentally wrote wifes.

Her: "Oh look, I have given you extra wives" (followed by laughter)
I immediately felt like I should say "Well actually I am Mormon," and then possibly have a gospel conversation.

Instead I resisted the impression and just gave her a courtesey laugh and let the moment pass.

Missionary Fail :-(

It is the end of all that is good

In the news today I learned that BYU Hawaii is banning this!

Wait, that is close but they are actually banning this**

That's right, they have banned kissing rugby.

I remember my first experiences at BYU and thus Mormons on a large scale. I never realized what a liberal LDS member I was until I arrived in Provo. But even among all the nervousness of being a 17 year old alone, and slightly ostracized due to my occasional profanity there was one activity that brought me into the fold of Zion. Not only did slightly uptight Mormon college girls want you to kiss them, they also aggressively tried to kiss you at the same time. Granted the slight polygamy overtones of wrestling with two women couldn't be overlooked, it was still hot; and by hot I mean awesome.

"Kissing rugby is an aggressive sport where rug burns are as common as kissing. It's played with a large group of boys and girls. Each boy gets a number assigned to him and the girls are assigned letters. Everyone makes a circle with boys on one side, girls on the other. Someone gets in the middle and calls out a number and a letter (i.e. D--5) and then "D" and "5" enter the circle and attack the member of the opposite sex. If a girl is in the middle to start then the boy "5" attacks her while the girl "D" attacks "5." A point is scored when either "D" or "5" lands a kiss anywhere on the face (ears count) of the other person. Whoever is kissed has to remain in the middle, call out a number and a letter, and avoid getting kissed in the next round."

I only hope the out of control wave of fascism hasn't reached the other two BYU's before my sons get to experience it.

**I am pretty sure they have banned that too

Don’t You Love Me Anymore?

With the rise of social media like Facebook and Twitter, we have a corresponding rise in digital rejection. Not surprisingly, this CNN article explains that online rejection feels just as bad if not worse than real life rejection.

"I think the thing that is often clearly worse online is when it's relatively anonymous, and people use that as a cover and are more cruel than they would be otherwise," said Jean Twenge, a University of San Diego psychologist who has studied the way social networking affects personality development.

And then we have this UCLA Researcher;

"If you'd asked me a few years ago if you'd get the same effect online as you would in person, I'd say no way," Baldwin Way said. "I thought doing something in person would have stronger effects than doing something online, but interesting data has come out in the last few years that show mental representations are just as powerful as the real thing."

Of course since I started this blog and using Facebook I have experienced various forms of online rejection, but I know I can be an obnoxious a-hole like all the time so it is to be expected. That said, two stand out particularly.

A former sister missionary from my England Coventry days that I didn’t know very well had friended me through the mission facebook group. Now I generally I do not keep up with people’s facebook accounts beyond the initial checking out of the photographs (just to see how many kids they’ve got and how old they look). What I usually do is to read through the recent status updates on my front page and make comments where appropriate.

One day I saw a post by this woman about how tired & rundown she was, plus she also needed to lose weight. Did anyone one have any suggestions? So I naturally commented that I had heard good things about Crystal Meth. Ha ha – I know. Pretty much the standard drivel I am known for, but by the end of the day she had defriended me. Now that doesn’t bother me much at all because I didn’t know her very well, but at the same time she justified every stereotype about the uptight, persnickety, self-righteous Utah Molly Mormon ever said. So I find it very funny and I will get a lot of mileage out of that story for years to come. (To be fair I was using a heavily tattooed and pierced face as my picture too – very scary to the MoMo behind the Zion curtain).

Case two involves a church member from my teenage youth. They are a year younger than me and even though I have tried to make contact with them over the years they have always just ignored me. I used to excuse it by saying they obviously are not involved much with the online community, but alas they maintain an active blog and participate on facebook. They are also friends with just about all the people I am from that same time period. The only conclusion I can draw is that at sometime I really offend them – I just do not know how. I do not doubt that I did something; it is just frustrating knowing that I can’t even try to make amends.

The article finishes with this advice:

"You have no facial expression online; you have no tone of voice online; it's very easy to misinterpret phrasing in an e-mail. You have to be very careful about your wording and be more explicit with people when you're making or removing connections," Sepp said. "That's why it's so important to connect with people that you actually know."

So please remember I never intentionally try to tick off specific individuals online, so if you think I was just ask for an explanation. More than likely it was my self amusing sense of humor falling flat with the masses. Remember ME = OBNOXIOUS… If you don’t believe me I can give references (like Lisa).

As far as facebook goes, please feel free to friend me. I maintain two accounts, one for personal stuff and photos, and one for all mafia wars all the time. If either of those interest you just email me and I will send you the information.