Apples at the Chapel

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Cute Title

Florence of Arabia
by Christopher Buckley

Buckley writes very funny political books that are very quick to read. This is my 4th or 5th one, and they have all been great. This book looks at Middle Eastern relations when a recently fired state department worker, Florence, is given the opportunity to try and disable the region by creating a woman centered TV station in Matar. Much chaos ensues and the sad part is the extreme events are probably not to far off from the truth.

Read all of Buckley's works - while some characters carry through the books, they can all be read independently.

I feel left out

Just because a guy had his boyfriends name tattooed on his butt, while in prison for drug use* - He Cannot Donate Blood in this Facist Country!!!

Wait - it is because I might have the Mad Cow from living in England for so long. I mean honestly - do I look like that?

*You should disclose that if you want an excellent reaction from the screener.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

It's Official

I bought the plane tickets today for Iceland - June 6th through the 18th.

Posting Early

I really, really like this one - this will be my catch phrase everytime I go swimming from now on

This is why I can't donate blood anymore

Real magazine - I think Eric gets it

I will bet money several of Gunnar's teachers have felt like saying this

Just silly

Here is my list of 25 things

For those of you who need to more about me.

1) I know the formulation for SPAM® Luncheon Meat
2) I read approximately 125 books per year. all genres
3) I only dated girls whose first name ended with the last letter A, not intentionally, I just noticed it in hindsight (Vanessa, Theresa, Pamela, Gina, Lisa, etc.)
4) I grew 2 more inches in height (I specify height because I know what my friends are like) when I was 20.
5) After I saw the movie ET I didn't open my closet for a month.
6) For most of my college life I went by the name Howie.
7) Lisa and I dated/courted through letters. We met our freshman year at college (same dorm complex) and then only saw each other approximately 3 weeks in the next 3 years prior to meeting at the chapel in Chicago the day before the wedding.
8) I walked home from the hospital after the vasectomy, the only patient to have ever done that at my clinic.
9) My first real kiss was at 14 with Julie Pitt from Sellersburg Indiana.
10) I had a very severe episode of ITP when I was 31 years old
11) I get really motion sick. Body Wars at Epcot Center in Walt Disney World - WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.
12) When my 1970's peers were rocking out to KISS I was totally loving ABBA.
13) I got my undergraduate degrees at BYU in Psychology and Family Science. My intention was to become a Marriage Counselor, but after working with the mentally ill and the juvenile jail system I decided I did not have the patience to listen to people whine about their problems all day.
14) Thomas S. Monson, Wilt Chambelain, Kim Catrall, Hayden Panetteire, Carrie-Anne Moss, and I all share the same birthday, August 21. We meet up in St. Louis for the party.
15) Having lived all over the world, I have now lived in Austin Minnesota the longest.
16) I cannot tolerate Wheat anymore, even a little bit makes my Ilium very CRANKY.
17) Anytime I hear someone use a word that rhymes with Fart in a conversation, I make the substitution in my mind and laugh on the inside.
18) I had a BCC (skin Cancer) removed from the tip of my nose.
19) One of my youth leaders when I was a kid (and used to get rides home with), ended up sexually assaulting a young kid and then beating the whole family to death with a cricket bat.
20) I tend to think of myself as funny, but haven grown up English culturally, not a lot of that humor translates in America. When that happens, Lisa will just tell them he's European. Odd thing is everyone has accepted that as a valid excuse.
21) At Junior Prom I went with Kara as friends (and at the last minute), we were the only couple not to get pictures and I still feel bad about that.
22) I dropped out of college twice - first when I got really bad mono, and then after my son was born. It took me about 9 years.
23) I was a vegan for 5 years.
24) My name while my Mom was pregnant was going to be Beauregard Cornelius; I only got a reprieve shortly before birth.
25) I had my slot to become a Missile Launch Officer in the USAF (the key turner guy in the silo) but passed a few weeks prior to my final commitment

Near Misses and Stories to Tell

I was just reminiscing about my youth when I remembered that a former young men's assistant in my ward, who was always a little off, ended up going off the deep end. He maintained a forced sexual relationship with a young man, and when it went bad he beat the father to death with an iron bar, and then stabbed both the boy and his mother to death. Afterwards he went in the back yard, climbed a tree, and tied a rope around his neck threatening to jump if anyone came near him.

I remember getting a few rides home from him as a youth. He was just a little off, and sometimes you could get a sense of some hidden anger underneath it all - but the ultimate conclusion was quite a surprise when I saw his face plastered across all the newspapers while I was on my mission.

Here is a short blurb in a recent copy of the Sun newspaper (thanks to my friend Kristy). You notice they leave out the pedophilia and the tree/rope portion. And here is one of the pictures I have of him from my younger days; Peter Robak is the really big guy front and center.