Dirty Quotes Out of Context (All New)

Talking to our kids about the first day of school my one son mentions a long term sub that we used to live near. My oldest blurts out:

"I've packed his groceries."

It just sounds really dirty, but he of course was talking about his new job at the grocery store.

In EQ last Sunday we were joking with one of the guys who will soon be leaving for his mission to Mongolia that he would be missing an upcoming event. I said:

"Yeah, he will be too busy milking the Yak."

Because that is what they do in Mongolia.

Milking the Yak

Dirty Quotes Out of Context

From JT:

I have to help Mason. He is doing his business in our front yard.

Mason being JT's best friend and business being selling gum for charity.

Great Quotes Out of Context part 37

Discussing the possibility of digging an egress window as a service project,

Egress Window

I mentioned a common friend, Geoff, who has a Bobcat. My friend Sean said we will need an attachment. He actually said:

"We can rent a hoe all day for only $80."

Bobcat with a Hoe

I have never been set up so easily before my mind came up with about a million responses at once, so many I think it jammed up and I couldn't respond. Classic.

Please note the name have been altered to protect the innocent & guilty.

Dirty Quotes Out of Context

"I am blowing on this wood and I can't get it up"

Of course they were talking about a fire at the camp out.

Dirty Quotes Out of Context

Qatar: There is a certain spot on Parker that if you rub his tongue will hang out and his leg will twitch.

I just heard Vanessa say that same thing about Eric the other day.

Dirty Quotes Out of Context

I was installing a basket on Lisa's bike and of course Cenny & JT were watching (starved for entertainment). I dropped the screws that attach it to the bike, so we pick them up and hand them off to Lisa to hold. Cenny then makes the following observation:
"So if Daddy needs a screw, he will just ask Mommy."

Yes, yes I will.

Then at dinner tonight we are having sandwiches and Lisa says the classic:
"Get over here and cut the cheese."

I will do my best but I am not really prepared right now.

Great Quotes Out of Context

“I am not comfortable getting on my knees and having a strange man put something on my tongue.”

This of course was Lisa talking about going to Midnight Mass tonight at the local Catholic Church (they do a good show). Last year she stayed in her seat and everyone in her row had to step over her to get to communion. She thought this year she would just walk the circle with her row but decline the communion. I said she should try the wafer too which she responded - see above.